'Despite the sunshine here, it’s been a winter of sorts. And now the spring of this cycle is here, we’re being called out of our homes to open up to the world again – and understandably, fear is being driven up as a result'
Lian Brook-Tyler writes a monthly column, Wild&Happy, for the Bishop's Stortford Independent about finding happiness within by connecting with the world around us...
Many of us have just been in a quiet, slow phase of life. We’ve been adjusting to spending more time at home, seeing fewer people and consuming less.
Despite the sunshine here, it’s been a winter of sorts. And now the spring of this cycle is here, we’re being called out of our homes to open up to the world again – and understandably, fear is being driven up as a result.
One of the foundational elements of my work with women is to bring them back in touch with the wild, including the wildness of their bodies.
It’s in the wild that we see that cycles are a golden thread across the fabric of life. These include:
* Night and day
* The seasons
* The menstrual cycle
* Circadian rhythms
The way humans evolved meant that we were so deeply embedded in the wild – we weren’t separate from it, we were of it. This was true for all humans for 94% of our species’ time on this planet.
We moved with the cycles of the world and of our lives, with acceptance and even reverence. Those cycles held and shaped us in ways that still affect us today.
Whilst our way of life has changed radically in the last 12,000 years, our biology has barely altered. We are wild animals living domesticated lives, forcing ourselves into cycle-denying linear lives and wondering why change feels so hard and scary.
We are set adrift on seas without the map that should have been our birthright.
But it’s not too late to reclaim it.
You can begin by noticing how cycles are showing up in your own life and in the world around you.
Maybe you’re inspired by the growth cycles of the vegetables you’ve planted, the changes each season brings or the phases of the moon.
Women who are in the menstruation phase of their lives have an internal wild cycle that is truly awe-inspiring once we empower it. Begin by tracking your cycle, noting just a word or a line about how you feel every day. It will only take a couple of months before you can look back and see patterns emerging – patterns that will show when it’s the perfect time for you to Grow, Show, Say No or Let Go (and then comes the powerful choice to align with those phases).
And coming back to this cycle, the rupture that was created by coronavirus – take a look back and see if you can recognise the phase you were in before it all began, the phase you’ve been journeying through, and how you feel now that phase is ending and a new one is beginning.
It’s easy to be judgmental and demanding of ourselves and others now: to force too quick a change on ourselves and to make wrong the changes we see in others.
If we pause and allow our true feelings to surface, I suspect many of us will realise that we feel like the tender shoots of spring.
When green shoots of spring bulbs are in their growth phase, restraining them to make them grow slower or pulling on them to force them to grow faster is going to have a detrimental effect. Worst case, it will kill off the beauty that would have occurred if nature was left to its own wild magic.
What new shoots require is time and nurture in the form of rich soil, sunshine, rain and maybe some shade or shelter.
What does that time and nurture look like for you and your family? What do you need to allow yourself to be graceful and loving in this phase of the cycle?
Maybe it’s giving yourself more time to adjust, instead of rushing straight back into socialising and shopping. Maybe it’s less time on social media. Maybe it’s time to sit quietly, allowing yourself to feel how you feel.
Let us be gentle with ourselves and others as we find our own unique way to bloom once more.
* Lian Brook-Tyler lives in Farnham with husband Chris and their two children, who attend Windhill21 Primary School in Bishop's Stortford. For 15 years she worked in the corporate world, rising to be head of online at BT, before the life-changing loss of her father, Robert, led her onto a path to become a coach, co-founder of Waking The Wild, which helps people to reclaim their wildness and actualise their deepest gifts, and host of wildly popular podcast The Primal Happiness Show.