Advice for parents with Smartphone Free Childhood group in Bishop’s Stortford
Three Bishop’s Stortford mums are volunteering with the charity Smartphone Free Childhood to raise awareness of the dangers of screens and social media apps for children. Kiran Khatkar explains what they are doing and why they all got involved
In September 2024, more children than ever started secondary school without a smartphone, down to the growing momentum of the grassroots movement known as Smartphone Free Childhood.
This organisation has tapped into one of the major dilemmas being experienced across the country. For years now, parents have been put in an impossible position: either they get their children smartphones, with all the known harms, or they leave them ostracised from their peers if they don’t.
Smartphone Free Childhood is committed to increasing the age that children are first given a smartphone, sharing the facts regarding the growing research about the harms of unrestricted social media and smartphone use and encouraging a reduction in screen time, in favour of more time spent in the real world!
This movement has now reached local parents like myself, Sophie Sullivan and Ana Sandor, and we feel inspired to get the conversation started in Bishop’s Stortford. Here’s our story...
Kiran
The journey that brought me to volunteering with Smartphone Free Childhood started with being honest with myself. I felt I had made a catalogue of errors in exposing my kids to smartphones and felt terribly alone.
A chance encounter led me to Jonathan Haidt’s book The Anxious Generation. I was immediately reassured as Jonathan’s book summarised the position of so many parents of my generation being in an exceptionally unique and challenging point in time, where the advancement of technology had taken a giant leap from the clunky internet dial-ups of my teenage years in the mid-90s to the smartphones that my kids were experiencing now in 2024.
My curiosity got the better of me as I began some independent research on how online gaming is different to playing something like a standard console game and an even messier journey into how to manage parental controls for various social media platforms.
I made some shocking discoveries, including that online gaming platforms use a code known as the Las Vegas effect, which means that the same algorithms that entice adults into addictive gambling behaviours (randomised rewards) were being pedalled to our children. No wonder there were tantrums when I was attempting to put stricter controls in place.
I was devastated at my own naivety and ignorance. I quickly realised that much of the information out there for parents was cumbersome and tricky to navigate, or maybe it was just me! Luckily, through joining Smartphone Free Childhood and volunteering as a regional co-ordinator I met with some like-minded parents, Sophie and Ana.
Sophie
My husband and I have always been hesitant to embrace new tech, and phones for our children seemed to be both an unnecessary cost (with five children to consider!) and a distraction.
We made the decision early on - whilst our eldest daughter was still at primary school - that we would not be giving her or the others a smartphone until they were a lot older, although we compromised and allowed access to one shared smartphone at home.
We soon regretted this decision having discovered that our children had accessed, despite controls in place, damaging images that we would never have wanted them to be able to view. It caused a lot of heartache and, despite having been careful, I felt like a horrible parent for allowing such images to destroy my children’s innocence. I was also completely shocked to realise how easily they had been exposed to such awful things.
It was a major wake-up call and I was glad, in Smartphone Free Childhood, to find a group that advocates for us parents. By helping us to take a more in-depth look into the issue, it has created more nuanced conversations that lead us to make better-informed choices for our children.
I breathed such a sigh of relief when the group gained traction on such a large scale as it finally helped me understand I was not alone as I steered my children through the choppy waters of modern technology!
Ana
I am the mother of a three-year-old boy and I feel passionate about him not having a smartphone in his life until he is a lot older.
As an aunt to tween nieces and nephews I have witnessed the struggles they have had with managing constant access to smartphones and social media.
When I was younger and in school at least the bullies would stop at the end of the school day and home was a safe place, but with smartphones and social media, kids today have no escape.
Based on our shared passion to try to help parents navigate this fast-evolving landscape, we are putting our time in to deliver workshops aimed at parents, carers, grandparents, aunts and uncles who wish to learn more in a friendly, supportive and safe environment.
We want to empower those who come along to our sessions with practical advice and tools so that you can each make informed decisions that are right for you and your family.
In-person parent workshops are being held at Bishop’s Stortford Library on Sunday January 19 (1pm-2pm) and Saturday February 1 (11pm-noon). An online workshop takes place on Thursday January 23 (8pm-9pm). Email SFCstortford@outlook.com to register.